The Last Poem I Will Write for You
April 10, 2019
This will be the last poem I will ever write for you;
I don’t care if it takes a million stanzas,
But I can’t just let these words continue to live inside me,
So I swear, this is the last poem I will ever write for you.
I will start at the very beginning;
At how you smiled at me and asked me where I lived.
You didn’t look at the books that lay beside my bed,
Also asleep, and back then my only companions
I will start from the very beginning,
At how you hugged me when I told you I love you;
At how I kissed your forehead
And said,” You’re important.”
I don’t want to be important.
I’m not a mirror that you’ve own by years,
That you only look at to remind yourself
That you’re beautiful.
I don’t want to be important.
What I want is to be loved. What I need is to be loved.
I need you to love me like your morning coffee:
Accepting the bitter and the sweet;
Needed for warmth but not tossed aside
For growing cold.
What I need is to be loved.
And I used to write just to make you love me.
So forgive me, but I will write
Until I’ve used up all the words in my mind.
Forgive me, but I will write to you to forgive me,
So, this time-
On this last time that I will write you a poem-
Let’s make an agreement:
I will forgive you but you must forgive me too.
Forgive me for chattering,
And I will forgive you for not saying a word.
Forgive me for not leaving,
And I will forgive you for not staying.
Forgive me for forgetting you,
And I will forgive you for not choosing me.
Forgive me for loving you,
And I will forgive you for hating me.
I will forgive you but you must forgive me too.
So I can at last finish this poem.
And forgive me if it ends up too lengthy,
And if the words are too flowery, but I swear:
This is the last one. The last one…
I will start at the very beginning;
At how you smiled at me and asked me where I lived.
I will start at the very beginning;
At how you smile at me.
I will start at the very beginning.
I will start…
I will…
I..
This is the last poem I will write for you – that’s wrong…
This is the last poem I have written about you:
“I love you, and I have nothing left to give”
I’m done….